Checkmate!
Published by a-hem on Saturday, June 13, 2009 at 6/13/2009 01:36:00 AMRecently, my sister announced that she wanted to learn how to play chess. Although I hadn't played in about 5 years, I managed to shake off some dust and explain the rules. The best way to make sure they're ingrained in your head, of course, is to play a game or three. Despite the fact that I was rusty, I still had enough arsenal in my repertoire to give her 16 year old behindey a good kicking.
Now, she's had a reputation for being a Sore Loser at Playtime (SLAP) since she was in elementary school. Remember the kid who "accidentally" tipped the Monopoly board over when she found herself jailed for the 904393843293298th time? That's my sister. Yes, the one with the frizzy hair, yelling at inanimate plastic objects and dice.
So, when she started to lose a number of chessmen, she countered by throwing a tantrum.
SLAP: This sucks! If we were on a real battlefield, I'd totally kick your a**!*
Me: I'd just stab your eyes out so you couldn't see where to aim. **
SLAP: No, you wouldn't be able to reach me!
Me: You're not THAT tall.
SLAP: I'd be on the horse. You'd just be one of the stupid spearsman on the ground.
Me: I think my country would value my brains and strategy more than your country would yours, so I'd probably be plotting and planning in a fort or a castle.
SLAP: Fine, then you'd be in the castle planning and stuff! I'd storm your castle and have my men slit your throat.
Me: I don't think I've ever been this amused by my own death...
SLAP: And then I'd drink your wine, eat your food and sleep with your women!
I didn't really have much to add to that. But the game ended a few moves later, and I suppose I got the last word. Now if only I could get my cats to warn me everytime my sister walked into my room with a knife.
* Since she doesn't read this blog very often, I am free to admit that this is wholly possible. I may be 7.5 years older, but she is 2.5 inches taller and weighs 6 kgs more. But the age gives me the psychological "big sister" advantage. Shhhh.)
** Triumph of brain over brawn. Ha!
9 comments:
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Ha! That looks like her!
I think "drink your wine, eat your cheese and steal your animals" would have had a greater effect on you.
I taught my bro how to play chess a looong time ago. Then, one day, he beat me; and I've never been able to win again. And since he doesn't read your blog at all, I'm free to say that the bugger is pretty f*ck*ng smart!
hehe... love the sibling rivalry.. esp when theres a sore loser involved
Aww man, your depiction of her is so darn funny. Was she always this witty?
speaking of being in jail for the 904393843293298th time...when do we play monopoly next? :D
Monopoly takes too long, man. I propose Graffiti night! Preferrably on a Friday; since that's the common weekend day.
Any takers?
Keith: Thank you, I shall let her know. And you're right, your version would've had a more pronounced effect. Shhhhhhh! Sis won't be able to beat me till she gets some practice in, which she hasn't at all. So I'm not too worried. :)
Dr. Roshan: Are you speaking from experience? :)
AA: I don't know.. I think I remember telling you about that time when her eight year old self came up to me and left me speechless for a few seconds by asking, "Munnu, can I tell you a bar joke?" I cannot tell you the relief I felt when she went, "A man walked into a bar and said 'OUCH!' " Yish.
cB: cB, hon. You're a sweetie, and I adore you to pieces, and I mean this in the nicest possible way... I am NOT playing monopoly with you, EVER! BLAH!
Keith: I'm in.. I bet I could get sis in too. What say cB?
I'm in, I'm in...today is a Friday :D
My sister and cousins would arrange the Monopoly table such that my back was facing the TV. Every time I turned to watch, they got richer and I lost some property. I think we have an even record now.
Btw, younger siblings can only get better you know. :P
Oh oh! I'm in for Graffiti too.. :D
cB: Cool!
rzv: I know, but only if they practice. And she doesn't! :)
So how are we organizing this graffiti thing?