Rhapsodic

I spend a fair bit of time scouring souq.com. Most of the things I look for are pretty specific: cheap books that I’d like to add to my collection instead of borrow from the library 439872340347 times, lenses for my Nikon D200, a used Wacom tablet being given away for free by a philanthropic graphic designer who wants to renounce materialism (and society) to become a hermit, vintage designer jewelry/bags sold at throwaway prices by clueless owners, Johnny Depp…

Ahem. Anyway.

The point is, for some completely unfathomable reason, I haven't managed to find any of the items mentioned above. Souq, you have failed me.

Instead, I find things like this:
1) A dress that’ll make a girl (or actually, probably her significant other) whinge and moan till (s)he’s red in the face.

2) A hellish dress. No really.
And here I thought the devil was supposed to be in a blue dress.



3) A series of blouses. No, I don’t know where the rest of the items in the sequence are.

4) A pegament predicament


5) Chicken suits. And just in time for Halloween too!
I wonder if this listing would run afoul (heh) with Lucknowi Chikan embroiderers.


6) A top that should be… a bottom?


7) Uninviting body parts. I’d say that maybe they’re catering to zombies (hyuk!), but even the undead prefer brains to intestines
And swaroviski and porsalain? Really? Can even find these things, unless they can think of every single possible permutation and combination of letters that could possibly make up a word?


8) Excited jewelery

How on earth does one stimulate a pearl? Actually, never mind. I don't want to know.
I'm just hoping it's intellectual stimulation rather than physical. How else will they compete with cultured pearls in the pearly dating scene?


9) To help you nip your young 'uns in the bud.
Note: I do not endorse baby sterilization. What happens when you change your mind and want grandkids, eh?


10) Pants for the moist and smelly.

Fresh and dry need not apply.