Rhapsodic

When Penguins Take Over the World

The penguins are marching with flippers unfurled,
their goal is (I'm sure) to take over the world.
They've convinced all the seals and the polar bears too
that to save our planet they must reclaim their rule.

So they made lots of costumes and then dressed themselves
as a huge, waddling army of innocent elves.
Their plan is to commandeer santa's red sleigh
then invade all our houses on Christmas Day.

Every good boy and girl all over the globe
will get a pet penguin to have and to hold.
Then when all the spy penguin are safely in place,
they'll use mind-control powers to capture our race!

Grown-ups will have to do as these penguins wish
(instead of going to work they will have to catch fish)
And the new penguin president will be picked democratically
from a contest to see who can dance most dramatically.

Global warming will end before you can say "snow"
because ice caps and cold are all that penguins know.
So to make our planet very penguinly-pleasing,
they'll build a machine to keep everything freezing.

Our kids will be happy to skip school and play
with their new flippered friends every wintery day.
Our world will be a happier, penguin-y place
when the penguins take over the human race.

by WaterChild Reborn

Please visit the link at the top of the post and refer to the "Author Notes" for a list of things that inspired this (and general hilarity.)

... rather than finance?

Sam: You don't like raisins?
Joon: Not really.
Sam: Why?
Joon: They used to be fat and juicy and now they're twisted. They had their lives stolen. Well, they taste sweet, but really they're just humiliated grapes.

From Benny & Joon